David is the biggest pain in my rear. Every year, it seems, there has been one, at least. I'll have a lovely set of kids who want to learn, like to please, have a strong set of skills to draw from. Even the kids with the greatest learning disabilities will be chock full of social graces to compensate. So much potential. And then there are the Davids. The kids who will do anything and everything to keep from accomplishing anything, or letting anyone else accomplish anything, in school. He refuses to do work, argues belligerently about insignificant details, visits the nurse as often as he can think up ailments, sneaks out to the bathroom. If he's supposed to wait in the hall until 7:45, he comes in to the classroom at 7:40. If he's supposed to stay in the classroom until 2:40, he tries to leave at 2:35. he does anything in his power to get and keep my attention. It is a miracle I have not completely lost my cool with him this year, which, of course, is his singular goal. Today he spent the morning moaning about a stomach ache. The nurse and I kept sending him back and forth like the Williams sisters. Finally he landed in my court just in time to refuse to go to chorus. So, against my better judgement, I let him stay. "I'll tell Mr. P you needed to finish your math. Just be quiet and get your work done." While I prepped my writing lesson, he chatted happily. Asking me about my kids, our next science unit, why we have to bother converting to decimals before percents. Content as anything to have a benign adult all to himself. Peaceful, pleasant, productive. As the end of music approached, his mood soured and soon enough he was back at the nurse, trying his darndest to throw up. I guess he succeeded because eventually his grandmother came to get him.
He comes from a thick, dark history of abuse. He has a shell of self-doubt and loathing I have no hope of penetrating. Even after 7 hours a day for 180 days (minus a bunch of sick days), I don't feel like I could possibly spend enough time with him. If I could just get him to see that he is worth time and attention, a damn, then I would consider this year a success. How do I do that without sacrificing myself and my other students? I would like to believe there is a way, but I am not sure I will figure it out this year.
2 comments:
hey
probably too goofy and not-productive to make him an assistant something (is your room set up so that kids can be in charge of different things? like the hamster, or the erasers or god knows what?)
probably, though, short of 100% of you, 100% of the time, not sure what all else will help. but i do feel pretty certain that what you are able to give is something that counts for him, even if nothing can ever be enough.
His case sounds complicated enough that there should be some kind of social worker in the mix, no? Unclear how much of that support you have available. Is there some system in your school for him to get some individual attention?
- get pulled from the chaotic lunch room for lunch with a college student once a month?
- give him 3 special passes to see the nurse for 15 minutes each day and then slowly winnow him down to none?
- his behavior is also probably not making him so popular with his peers, which then furthers his isolation. Maybe he gets "special friend recess" where he gets to pick one friend to have recess with him in a special place (we use a conference room and offer tubs of plastic dinosaurs which was viewed as a thrilling opportunity)
- build a special check in time each afternoon where if he hasn't been disruptive that day he gets to go spend 15 minutes with an adult in the building talking about whatever he is writing. Our business manager, receptionist, and other administrators have served this role. One kid used to be able to do stand up during the bus call at dismissal in his class if he had followed his behavior plan that day
Basically our promise as educators is that we won't let a child interrupt their own or another child's learning, but it is NOT POSSIBLE for a teacher to do that in isolation without a system of support.
Hang in there.
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